Quit bugging us for ways to control your H, go find yorself a wolf to FYBO
It's always amazing to me when men reveal how little they know about their brethren. There is no such thing as a man who is all "wolf" anymore than there is such thing as a woman who is all "cow" or "bunny" or "monkey." Of course if LQ went out into the world looking for a "wolf" she could find one in most men she encountered because she would be sending out the appropriate signal. However, she could also find a "lion" or a "puppy dog" or a "boy monkey" etc. if that was what she was looking for. I don't think she should try to control her H but I think that she is confused about what she wants and that is why she is here seeking our assistance. However, there is no straight-forward dichotomy of stay with whatever animal she loves in her H vs. go find a wolf. Both instincts are within her and both are valid. If the "puppy dog" is what she loves in her H, she will seek to find the "puppy dog" in any wolf she hooks up with. If she gains self-awareness she will change and those around her including her H will change their behavior in relation to her. Whether that will mean that her relationship is strengthened or comes to an end can not be predicted.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
