Trying to be positive - with hope

[stewart10]

Hey Limbo:

am so tired of this, he is getting worse with the childish behaviour instead of better!

Boy do I know what you mean here. I think the important thing is to try not to take their actions personally. At least in my situaiton, my W is awfully selfish and often doesn't care what her behavior's effect has on others. My father basically put the situation in perspective for me. He said that I still care about what she does. She could care less what I do on a daily basis as long as it does not interfere with what she wants to do. If it does, then she begins to look for things that she can justify staying away for. It is hurtful to think about it, but unfortunately it is the way it works.

I don't think I can do this for much longer! I refuse to be punished when he doesn't get his own way!

See above response.

With the bike course, I said what about the kids, we are going to be away all weekend long, and if we do the bike thing it means we don't get home til about 10pm, which is way after S7 bedtime, and my Mum is going to watch them, and I know she is going to give me hell for doing it.

This seems to be a perfectly valid point. One which you probably would have made if H did not hang up on you the first time. Let this sink in for awhile. See if it changes his opinion. If not, there is not much you can do. Remember, they cannot really think of anyone else other than themselves, at least that has been my experience.

I want a mature relationship, and I told him that, he said he has always been that way and isn't going to change, I said we can all make choices to change, and he said nope we can't change who we are!

This is an unfortunate comment. You, I and everyone else on this board knows this is simply not true. Don't let it bother you. There is a difference between not being able to change and not WANTING to change. I suspect your H may have a bit of of the latter going on at this point. Don't let this get you down.

Hang in there Limbo. I don't think things are going as bad as you think. Things look pretty good from the outside. At least he is saying he wants things to work. Keep your head up. Things are going well for you.