3) is the best choice for pursuing what you want in your life. But, (3) also requires you to quit trying to control everything.
The only thing I'm trying to control is me and my emotions. Ret. is still an option - that hasn't been thrown out the window, yet.
Here's where I am, I don't have to stay if I don't want to, my H violated our M at the very beginning. Yes, my H wants more than anything in the world for our m to succeed, I at this point could care less one way or another. I'm not cold to my H, nor am I uninvolved in our R, I'm just not all about him any more. I have kids that live close by a sister and a mom. I could use their companionship as well and those are the people that I've ignored since I M my H. I always chose to be by H's side rather than visiting family. Well, I'm not going to do that any more. As I said, he is NOT my universe any more. My life is much bigger than our marriage. That's the way I see it and whatever will be will be.
BTW, in my world, I had no brothers, only a father and he was a cheater - actually fathered a child through his infidelity. My uncle cheated, my mom's father cheated, no one in my life didn't cheat. My father and grandfather are long passed away and I still haven't gotten away from cheaters. Yes, I know that this way of thinking is counterproductive and I don't dwell on this stuff - I'm just trying to express to you why it doesn't matter to me. I am staying because it's my duty to stay at least that's what my mom told me and I'm trying to make the situation as pleasant as possible. I have a duty to fulfill so that my family can be proud that I overcame all of this and I'm trying very hard not to disappoint anyone.
