1) if/when he calls, be civil to him. if/when he says what my friend predicts he says, stick to the script on it. not matter what he says or does, don't let him bait me or pull me into the chaos. if he doesn't call, put it out of my mind. if I find my focus pulled to him too much, work on my mantra to get it off of him.
2) no calls to mil. I talked to her last night after I called in hysterics. my friend made me understand more why I do it, and that helps, but I need to not call her no matter what...its not good for her, its not good for me. if I need to communicate, will do it thru e-mail, but will put myself on a 48 hour rule and try to journal it first.
3) gym/ab tape (need to keep the normalcy and the the endophins going)
4) take the kids to the pool with our friends. I need to get out and be social and try to get my mind off of the drama/mess in my life. as much as I want to dig a hole in the sand and hide there, I can't let him do that to me. I can't let myself do that to me
5) pick up the book my friend recommended (how to raise resilient children). she was very excited about it...said it would be really good for me and, in turn, the kids. from the title sounds like something that could be very good.
6) continue with my lists...things I liked to do pre-h, things I want to look back on someday and know i accomplished. will also add a new list...things I did to try to save my marriage. because I know i don't want to forget that I did try, that I did everything in my power, and while it wasn't enough, I can still know that I did all I could do. sometimes having it all out in black and white is very helpful.
7) journal! (missed yesterday, I had planned to last night and things got crazy and I ended up on the phone until I was too tired to even think about writing)
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
