I guess what I mostly have at this point is questions....
Given that you want to move forward and get past the historically adversarial, currently withdrawn nature of your relationship ...
Have you *told* your husband, in plain english with no circumlocution, that you would love to share watching porn with him again, if he was willing to forgo his private viewing?
Have you *told* your husband in the same straightforward way that you want to have sex, but you are losing the desire to have sex with him because of his porn and/or his secrecy about it, and this saddens you?
Have you told him that you are imagining all sorts of awful things about the content/frequency of his viewing, and are willing to be calm (if not happy) about whatever the truth might be, but it's better than flailing around in the dark? (are you?)
Have you *talked* about the fact that you haven't had sex in weeks?
What does *he* think about all this? I'm not saying his opinions/emotions about all this should determine yours, but do you even *know* what his are, or are you assuming?
Maybe I have the wrong idea of the situation, but if you can't have open rational discussion about all this, however difficult, how will you ever break these impasses?
Certainly, it's progress that this current cycle takes the form of withdrawn politeness as opposed to open warfare, but surely that's not the ultimate goal. ....
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
