Yep, I’m with you on your whole explanation, and I guess the final answer is the usual answer, you decide what you want and whether the other person can meet your wants or not. If not, then you can take some action, including D. Fine. That’s well understood in our M. But we still have the nagging problem of what to do with the kids and how all this would affect them. So it is not a case of finding an optimal outcome, but choosing the lesser of two evils.
My initial response to you is to say... "poor you." If you want to get out... you do what you need to get out. Choc didn't ask how/when to get out; Mojo didn't ask how/when to get out; I didn't ask how/when to get out; I'm not saying 'getting out is IT.' Just don't ask me for, or even imply to ask me, for advice on it. If you have to get out, you get out. You know.
As for your other point. Don't compare Mrs. Cobra to me. Mrs. Cobra is Mrs. Cobra. Deal with her and not some rendition you want her to compare with me... Corri, a rea-ntasy... a screen name... not even a woman of substance, at least where the boards are concerned.
I had that notion going on with my xH, for a time. All the things he wasn't. All the things he didn't realize, like the guys on this board. And that was way back in 'the day.' Way before any of you other guys showed up... HD, you, BF, Stig, Martelo, Crazy Eddie, LM, GGB... I could go on and on.
NOP pretty much yanked my strings. HE wielded the pointy witch shoes, believe it or not. But he did it far nicer than I ever have.
Anyway. Back to you.
Leave Corri out of it. She doesn't exist, in reality, anyway. Deal with Mrs. Cobra. In the time since I first busted your chops, you have come a very long way, and so has your M. If you look back on it, that's not a lot of time at all.
If you want to be in your marriage, be in it.
If you don't, get out.
But don't hold some Corri fantasy up to your wife... "you don't have the realizations that Corri has."
Nope. She doesn't. Doubt she ever will. But. She isn't Corri. Neither am I.
In reality, I am someone else. I am the person who posts, but I am SO MUCH MORE AND LESS than that. I am far more, and far less, than the screen name who posts here, as Corri.
I have morphed the persona of online screen names into reality myself. I compared my xH to them... "wny can't they see things like... xxxx?" Doesn't matter.
xH is and will always be, xH. The problem was NEVER with xH. The problem was with me. My purpose. My goal. What I wanted in life. What made me (not Corri) happy. And how **I** wanted to get there.
I never did, and never WILL regret my decisions to to D.
But those decisions are very personal and not replicable. So don't look for an out from me.
I did NOT make my decision in anger. Nor in petulance. Nor in revenge. It was an active choice. I'm not looking for ^5s or attagirls, or... even... 'too bad you didn't hang on a few months longer,' kind of feedback. I accept FULL and COMPLETE responsibility for my decision.
You... to me... are still looking for an excuse... to get out, or stay in.
Nod.
But. You are a man. And you cannot compare YOU to ME. As I am a woman, and our impetus of action is different.
You have all the 'knowledge' that you need to make a decision, which, quite honestly, you've already made. As a man, you made your decision long ago, for very specific reasons. There is nothing to reconsider or debate.
All I see you doing, now, is looking for an 'excuse' to get out or stay in. You do not seem to be, a man, to me, seeking a decision.
If you want out, get out. Stop using your children as an excuse.
If you want to be IN, get IN. Stop using your wife's inability to be what YOU want her to be, as an excuse.
Now. If you want to talk the variables of humanity, Corri can go there with you, with no judgments, as you take time to make your decision on whether you will honor your decision, or honor you impulse.
I don't care WHAT you do. As long as you do it with FULL self-accountability. And even if you don't, I (Corri) do not care. Even I (the real me) doesn't care. What I DO care about... is if Cobra is true to Cobra. But even then... it really isn't up to me (Corri or no).
