Yup, I'm still learning about boundaries with him too, although I can say that I've been fairly firm and consistent with all my kids all along. Where I fall down is when I get undermined (for lack of a better term) by MrsGGB's well-intentioned mothering.
Similar thing with S2 and S3 a few weeks back. You might recall my mentioning them doing the fingerpainting thing with their poop on the walls of their bedroom. MrsGGB was getting crushed by it, in one week they did it more than a half dozen times, and each time took her several hours to clean it up (I was away that week). The next time they did it when I was home, I took the task of giving them a bath. I did it with no hot water amid a bunch of crying about cold water. Told them that only cold water takes off the poop. Next day they did it again, and again they got the bath with no hot water, and again I told them that is what happens when they cover themselves and the walls in poop, and that if they did it again they'd get a cold bath again. Next day same thing, except this time as soon as I opened the door to their room they both started saying no cold bath. Again, I told them that poop only comes off with cold water and they got a cold bath anyway. That was the last time they did the poop picasso routine. It's been about a month since the last episode, so I think the message got through. S2 also made it the whole day today without an accident, and even went into the bathroom to poop on his own this afternoon, soooo we have some progress there! (now if S3 would consider using the toilet...). Oh, and my point: MrsGGB was not at all too happy about my giving them a cold bath (it wasn't frigid, just not warm), and we had words about it out of earshot of the kids later. This is fairly typical, and I suppose natural. It just sucks sometimes always having to play the heavy.
