heya... sounds like you're another lucky one, where MIL is *potentially* on your side. good for you.
Neutral at best. I made a dumb move by telling her that I was going to see a lawyer that afternoon. I'm thinking she told my W which is how she found out. Although it could also have been that she snuck a peak at my cell phone.
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About the lawyer: Just make it clear that you went for a consultation, so that you know what to expect, if it comes up again.
Agree. Not sure why I'm so concerned about it. It was just a consult and I would be a little naive to not look into protecting myself at this point. It's just another way of her trying to turn things around on me, but I won't let her get her way.
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Sounds like your wife is really, REALLY hostile, and alomst totally committed to divorcing you at this point. She's just reluctant to take that final step.
I wouldn't say REALLY hostile. Not yet. She's up and down like most other WAS's I guess. Sometimes things are great and then I think she catches herself having fun, so she thinks "Whoah!! Gotta put a stop to that!!"
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no, it's not wierd. its quite obvious by this, that she is interested in other people. That guy, specifically. And if you are also interested in other people, then "divorce is the 'right' thing to do for both of you'. SO you can "both be happy".
To be blunt: you were dumb to ever bring this up.
Live and learn. I did try to back peddle after I spoke about her and said that I had no intention of pursuing anything. And as a side note, I talk to this girl about 15 minutes a day. It's not like I have her cell phone number, talk to her late in the evenings and on weekends, etc as the W is doing with OG. Hypocritical I say. Sorry... just venting.
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I'll take a shot in the dark, and make the following observations
1. Your wife is"done working on the marriage". That means, you will have to do all the work, for quite a long time. dont bother even trying to get her to put in any serious effort. It may just piss her off, and make her want to escape more.
I think you are right on the money with observation #1
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2. I'm guesssing you should probably focus less on saying "I think we can work things out", and focus more on actually DOING the "work". ie: find out why she doesnt feel connected with you, and try to fix it. from your side.
Agree. This is the difficult one though. Her idea of intimacy is talking and quality time. Hard to get these under these circumstances. We went to dinner twice over the last couple of weeks. Talked the whole time. Great dinner and great company. I had a wonderful time. After the fact she tells me that I was doing all of the talking and that she wasn't really engaged in the conversation....
It just occurred to me that this is just the alien talk. I think she really did enjoy herself, she just got defensive when I reflected on how good of a time we had. So going forward, try to have more good times, but not draw attention to them.
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3. be happy she still wants to do fun things with you and the kids. Keep it up, while not smothering her.
