Nomopo's Thread - Is something happening to me?

[new_attitude]

Hi Nomo! I'm glad you're feeling so well these days!

The hardest part for me right now is I am restricted by these "agreements" we reached regarding our S (namely, that we will wear our rings, not date, not tell people we are S'd, and not split finances). I am considering asking W to revisit these with me.

Maybe I'm just being nosy, but which of these these things do you want to change? Are you hoping to initiate that discussion for the sole purpose of changing those agreements or are you hoping that it will jolt her into realizing that you're truly detaching from her? Maybe both?

I am trying to detach from W (lovingly - that is super hard for me cause I do feel resentment, anger, bitterness when I let myself) and focus on me and my kids!

This is what I need help with. How do you go from being resentful, angry and bitter to being in a position to lovingly detach? What do you tell yourself at those times when you're feeling especially resentful and you need to interact with your w?