Hmmmm.....I agree wholeheartedly that he wants your attention GGB. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he is reacting to the state of your marriage. I'm not sure what type of response Corri has in mind, but I think this is is the time when you should try to do things with your son, just you and him, no one else. Make a short weekend trip, doing something he likes, something a little daring for you, something that validates his sense of rebelliousness but shows him how to do that in a controlled and safe manner.
My son is only 10. He gets an attitude at times, but I think it comes from the marriage and the occasional arguing. W is convinced that he is learning from me how to be disrespectful to women. It think she is teaching him that lesson all on her own. I can understand his frustration.
My approach is to try to side with his and his feelings, and talk about what he did, why it is wrong, then give him a face-saving way out so he does not feel humiliated. W does the opposite. She wants him to own up to his mistakes and apologize, not just for his actions but his anger and attitude too. All that does is piss him off more (and it really pisses me off when I see her doing it to him).
My point is that your son probably wants to bond with you and get some attention. At first he will say it is gay, whatever, so chose something really special. In fact choose something that your wife will not like, something a little daring. That puts the two of you on a "team" as rebels with a cause (or is it without a clue?) Give him a chance to see another side of you, show him the experience you have gained over the years, that a kid of 17 has no way of knowing, that he will HAVE to respect.
This is one of the reason I do TKD with my kids. I am pretty proficient at it, can hang with many of the other teenagers, and none of my kid's friends have parents that can do what I do. Even if my kids don't think I am as good as they are, they hear otherwise from their friends and they do give respect for that.
Anyway, I hope you get my drift. Just sidestep the entire confrontation thing. It doesn't have to come up at all. Spend some one-on-one time with him.
