Snip snip, and turn him into something you can really ride!
Woo-hoo!
BP, this is just for you:
As a woman bonds with a horse, Attempts to understand and interpret... she is nurturing and facing her fears, and moving beyond boundaries, Essential lessons in any relationship.
Then in this new, quiet communication of touch and thought intuition and expression... she finds at last, her Self.
Now you have something in common with Annie, and anew2morrow
I love the bubbies
So when are you bringing your kids down here to ride, Lissie?? We can all get together and have a big dude ranchy thing going.
I asked DD yesterday if she would like if I informed H about her 16 birthday party (whenever she decides to figure out what she wants). She very angrily said NO! <sigh> I feel like I am in a bind. Turtle said to create a safe place for H. I know this may mean only emails between us but I feel like I would be in the middle of things between H and DD and both of them would be running the other direction from each other and both of them would be accusing me of something (H - that I am keeping DD from him and DD that I am forcing H on her). I guess this is a mute point since H probably won't email me back anyway. <double sigh>.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
HEHEHEHEHEHE - Does this sound angry to you? This a forum letter published in the local paper from H.
Bravo, UTA Public Forum Letter Article Last Updated: 08/29/2007 11:49:36 PM MDT
Utah Transit Authority is doing a fine job with their propaganda about how much faster and easier the new bus system is. If it's so much better, why do I now have to leave my house five minutes earlier and get to work 15 minutes later? What part of that is faster and easier? Oh, I've made the mistake of living in the southwestern portion of the valley where apparently we don't need good bus service. Routes that used to run late and on the weekends have been eliminated or the service hours cut back. Yeah, that makes it faster and easier for me to get around. It's unfortunate that UTA didn't study public transit in cities such as New York and San Francisco to see how it's supposed to work before coming up with this garbage. Thank you for making transportation more difficult. Bravo, UTA! Bravo!
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I just thought I would update. On the H front: nothing, as usual. I am sad but ok with it. There have a been a few other guys sniffing around and they know what my stitch is and understand where I am standing so they keep my spirits up and tell me stories and feed me. I think I am starting to gain back weight. I don't know what is right but it is nice having SOMEONE care for me.
I did try pole dancing. It was a blast spinning on the pole and rolling around on the floor but somehow the sticking butt out and circling it in a come hither way didn't appeal to me. I think I prefer the more subtle belly dancing come hither.
Did my first boat trip!!! I actually drove the launch for crew! and I didn't run over any of the kids or rocks or seagulls. YIPPEEE. The water was really choppy and the rowers only did a couple of laps around but I was covered in salt when we were through. It does make for a good facial and hair conditioner. I woke up with my hair looking like the wife on the Simpsons!
My DD bday is Monday and we have a party planned in the park on Sunday. I've rented a chocolate fountain and will pick up volleyball, softball, etc. Then add music, lights and tons of food. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the kids will come. DD has turned into a teen!!! AGGGHHHH...I get silent treatments and dispair that no one will come. Me: Did you hand out the invitations? DD: no, the ones I gave it to, gave me a weird look about the location and time so I stopped. NO ONE is going to show up!!! Me: well they won't if they don't know. Maybe you should just hand them out. DD: no because they won't come if I hand them out. (and if you don't how will they know not to come!) Me: <sigh> (this is only a rough guide to how it went and I was driving) DD has 2 classes that I worry about but all in all it looks like a good school year.
so....nothing to complain about
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
Bday party is tomorrow. We bought a ton of food and it is suppose to rain and be cold. Now, if I had planned an inside one.....LOL. Oh, plenty of blankets....on second thought.....teens and blankets and dark.....hmmmmm, scary!!!
H sent DD a dozen chocolate cover strawberries for her birthday. Weird, if this is all but I am thinking he will send a card also. The enclosed card in the strawberries said " Happy Birthday DD! Please forgive me for my weakness. I love you and miss you. Dad". Really sad.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
Hope your DD has a wonderful bday and is surprised by lots of friends, cards, and more. What a great idea for a party. If the weather is perfect that doesn't mean there shouldn't still be lots of excitement and many great memories for another day.
Now, a belly dancing lady pirate ... Aarrrrggggghhhh matey !!!!
Hope your DD has a wonderful bday and is surprised by lots of friends, cards, and more. What a great idea for a party. If the weather is perfect that doesn't mean there shouldn't still be lots of excitement and many great memories for another day.
Now, a belly dancing lady pirate ... Aarrrrggggghhhh matey !!!!
Those other boats better beware !!!!!
Hey, I like that Was2sad!! Now what would a proper lady pirate wear? Tall boots, the push up and out bra, hmmmmm, shorts? I definitely am going to have to update my wardrobe.
The bday party was interesting. It rained heavily and was cool. The chocolate fountain gurgled and burped in the cold but flowed and about 24 kids showed up. We cranked up the music in the pavillion and the kids danced and ate (with a little dancing on the side from me as they laughed). I also bought 9 disposable cameras and bubbles. DD was a little disappointed in how few came but considering the weather and time, it was perfect for where we had to hold it. Two friends came and helped me. I am so grateful that they were there! Trucking all the food and stuff would have been really difficult otherwise. Now the freezer is full and DD and I will be having luncheon meat in everything for the next month, not to mention cake (for some reason no one wanted chocolate cake after eating a pound of the chocolate fountain! - imagine that)
I keep musing/reflecting over H's card. (hey, the last contact from him was flowers on Mother's Day) Was he reaching out to her or just trying to be pitiful? I am not responding because it wasn't too me and I don't think DD will respond either. very sad.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
Rollercoaster time! I blew it royally yesterday. I knew DD was having difficulty but I "found" an online diary in which she describes drinking and getting high. Good part is that she knew it was wrong and wants to leave it. When I found the diary, I went ballistic. It hit me like the day H left. I tried calling my C and DD's C. No response. I tried a couple of friends. No one home. Finally, I called H and left a message (of course, he didn't pick up) saying found out DD is into drugs and alcohol. Nothing else. Still reeling, I remembered DD's C saying something about H's friends so I called one. He spoke a long time with me. H has a GF (big surprise ...NOT), doesn't hang around too much with any of the old friends, maybe once a month or so. May be drinking but not drugs and the friend tried talking me into divorce and dumping him (he also agreed that H is in crisis). I cried on him like it was the day H left. I went to work and on the way there I called H back and left a message saying "I apologize for bothering you. I know you don't want anything to do with DD by your actions and I was dragging you into it. I will handle it" At work DD's C called. She has set up a counseling appointment for H today (DD and I meet with her tomorrow). She also said not to talk to DD yet about the diary.
H is going to C!!!!!!! I really don't know how I feel about it. Relief- maybe something will happen now. Scared - something will happen now.
DD called and she quit her job. When I checked the online diary that night, I found out she had "partyed" in the parking lot after. DD was in a good mood but I was in a rotten one. The drive home was snow/rain plus the other stress. The room she was in was sweet perfumy smelling. The short of it was I asked a couple of questions that I knew the answers to from the diary and she lied to me. I didn't tell her that I knew she was lying since the C wants to help deal with it but DD could tell I was ballastic but I did tell her that her pupils were very large. She said her usual "they are always that way" and accused me of not trusting her and asked what she needed to prove trust. I said get you grades up and don't lie to me. We went to bed mad, got up mad and I took her to school where I told her "I love you" as she stormed off. AGGGGHHHH
It's going to be a long road and I don't know if I can handle it but I will have to.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
Let me ask some simple questions and I don't think there are any completely right or wrong answers. I won't go down the road of "tough love" because you can get that from lots of others very easily. I will say, they are not in your shoes at this moment, and neither am I.
Drinking and "smoking", will it have an immediate and irreversible impact on her life at this moment?
How you deal with this could have just such an impact on your R with her for at least some extended period. Try to avoid acting on emotion. That always bites us on the rear. Try to think "will my action save her life "today"? Or, "will my action today cause me to loose contact with one more person I love completely?" This is a bit of a fragile balancing act.
You are paying a C to talk to her and the IC is trained at being a constructive participant in this process. Let me promise you that your DD will listen better to a third party than you. It is what kids do. Oh yeah, as you know ... they lie to keep from hurting you with the truth. They lie to keep you from being angry at them. Good Kids sometimes lie for reasons they can only justify to themself.
Knowing she is not being honest hurts you. Finding out you snoop will hurt her more. Please accept that there are things in her writings that you should not be going to look at. I know you care. She knows. Now maybe you need to try to care and respect her expectation of privacy; by letting the online journal go.
You can change some things in life, and not others. You can't really change people, even if you are able to impede their behavior. Your DD is at an age she feels compelled to experiment just as 90+% of her peers are. Learning years. Like a MLCer. She is testing the waters of certain things in life and deciding which ones she will embrace, which ones she will reject. But usually only after fully experiencing the options. Not to mention the fact that there is some turmoil going on in her life when she should have the undivided love and attention of her dad.
It is what it is. So what I am saying is, you may find comfort in talking to your own IC about how to step back and let go as much as appropriate in this situation. Or schedule time with her IC after they meet. Just don't expect her IC to share everything with you. It would only be so her IC can help you accept what you may be unable to change immediately, and sort out what is not yours to change. Be strong, but be patient.
