Still stuck in Limbo Land

[MariS]

Mary,

I am so glad we found each other on this BB. You seem 2 mirror the feeling, questions & concerns that I have @ the same time, AND they are VERY valid.

Maybe my lesson is 2 take things one day @ a time, not plan my life away like I use 2, & be gratefull for what I'm given that day/evening.

Have you moved over to piecing yet?

I doubt that I will be there anytime soon. My WAH-MLCer is still very much in the throws of his MLC, still. Ugh!!!

Your H has @ least fully moved back in, has said he is willing 2 work on the M & seems 2 be giving it a go. Yes, this is where the hardest work is for us, the LBS. We must show that we are NOT our old selves & will NOT revert to our old ways.

You can do this Mary!!!!

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Journaling,

Well it has now been a year since WAH-MLCer walked out on child & I & things are better, but still not the best. I didn't acknowledge the date or anything, just did my own thing w/child.

We are having more family outings, moments, meals, etc. WAH-MLCer is back at the house, but threatens every so often about leaving. I ignore, until last night, when I gently said, "If you feel that you really need to leave, then go."

Amazingly, he stayed.

As for our M/R, IMO, it is 90% just sex & all I am is an outlet for his physical need. The other 10% is here and there, but I feel no connection to WAH-MLCer.

I can see where WAH-MLCer is trying and that there are still positives. It is when those negatives hit you out of the blue to cause a speedbump that I am thrown. Today, I am totaly ignoring WAH-MLCer and doing what I need to do for myself & child. WAH-MLCer still drinks his vodka every night, has sleep issues, etc.

At least this time around, I don't retaliate, I just take care of child, pets, family & I and say those are his demons, not mine.

Thank you for letting me ramble....