why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Dom R]

i think it is important, long term, to get that understanding.

HOWEVER.. I think that agent99's relationship with her husband is kinda fragile right now, and that is serious "R talk".
I would suggest postponing that conversation for a while, maybe until after the date and the volunteering together.

Agent99: yes, of course you feel vulnerable. That's understandable.
I think that anyone who chooses to stand for their marriage, after their spouse has demonstrated wanting to separate/date others/(or in extreme cases, actual adultery), feels vulnerable.
They ARE vulnerable, to the whims of someone who is demonstratably not committed to the marriage.

Feeling vulnerable, seems like a very normal reaction. But that doenst mean you should stop. I think that, basically like what Nikki was saying, you just need to figure out what kind of boundaries you need to have for yourself so that you dont feel used, or lose respect for yourself by what you are doing for the longer term.

Some short term suffering, for long term good, hopefully.

hang in there... dont get lost in overanalysis.. I think you are doing great!