Well... one of my juniors asked me last year if I could cook. I said I cook okay. I said why? He said because I'm going to marry you one day. Just a little too young, ha!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
HAHA!!!That might be alittle to young!!!!But Quite a compliment for you!!!! A lady that I work with is just getting a divorce and she told me yesterday that she was out with some friends when a kid that is her sons age was hitting on her...She said she had a hard time getting him to leave her alone....I had a great laugh over that one......
This spring I had a 30 year old hit on me and it was tempting for a minute...
I wouldn't worry about the letter and what he's saying. If you are above it all, stay positive and friendly everyone (including him-- although maybe not until some future time) will realize you are not that way. If you complain or try and defend yourself everyone will associate you with the negative. My husband did the same thing (actually for a long time). In detaching I finally learned to not take his rantings and criticisms personally and even find some humor in the whole thing. I also learned that for him to really appreciate me, he actually needed to be around OW and meet various women to learn that I wasn't so bad. (Sheesh!!! we are ALL hormonal, difficult to deal with, moody b!tches!!!)
In time eventually he'll see OW's negative characteristics. Right now he's probably only seeing the good characteristics. I'm sure she's very careful not to show anything negative.. and I'm sure he's doing the same. That's what we do when we first meet people we like. We want to be accepted so we're very careful to only show the positive... but at some point everyone's positive and negative qualities become obvious.
Also, keep in mind your husband may be getting a lot of flack from others about how he's treating you. He probably feels compelled to show you in a negative light to defind himself. He may not even really believe it, but he's trying to cover his butt and not look so bad. Eventually he'll see what he's doing. It will take time, but he will. I've seen this before....
P.s. I'll try and email you this morning. I don't know why the PMs always say full. Do they even work? Does anyone send or get them? Is this because I have a Mac?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
How long were you seperated with your H? Mine has almost had this A since October of last year i don't think it was PA till January . He would even come stay with me. He has been away for most of the year so she wasn't around him then just alot of phone calls. She might have went and visited him oncewhen he was a way. I keep thinking if he would spend alot of time with her then maybe he would see her in her real light that we all know what she is . Everyone tells me she is a b%$*h when she doesn't get her way. Even her mom told my sil. But she has him convinced that she is perfect and everyone is telling lies. The only thing I think is he has his own trailer and when he wants to something for him self he stays there. Your advice to Cali made alot of sense for me. Thanks
Also, keep in mind your husband may be getting a lot of flack from others about how he's treating you. He probably feels compelled to show you in a negative light to defind himself. He may not even really believe it, but he's trying to cover his butt and not look so bad. Eventually he'll see what he's doing. It will take time, but he will. I've seen this before....
Thanks ROOT. I know that is what he is trying to do, and yes I am holding my head up. I know that most everything in that letter is not true, and you can tell if you know anything about me that it is not. I am wondering if he ever showed OW the letter. The funny thing is in the letter he admits to his drinking, and lying but downplays it so much. I wonder what others think when they read it. I know everything he is doing right now is to justify his behaviour, and I try really hard to not let it get me down. Just the continuous lying and this person I thought I knew is just to much some days.
I dont know about the PM, never tried to PM someone before. I will look for your email, thanks.
I don't remember if I've read your sitch, but I'll try and take a look at it. My H and I were separated and in divorce for about 7 months (but there were previous separations, talk of D and yo-yoing for about 4 years... definite MLC!). At the time the D was filed we had been married 21 years.
I'm glad my advice was helpful. Unfortunately, sometimes a lot of time is needed for these things to work out, or reach a conclusion or direction. It takes a lot of strength and patience to get through these things. I admire you and others here for that.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
