Divorce just about final ~ Lovingme

[lovingme]

Previous Thread

I am moving over here from Midlife Crisis ~ My divorce will be final in the next week probably.

[lovingme]

My thread locked up but thank you all for the advice. I do know I opened myself up a little bit but I feel it was only in a small way. I don't feel hurt, I don't feel upset, I really feel back to my normal self after having done it.

H will not respond to the letter or even comment on it and that is fine. I just felt I had to do it. Maybe he will watch who he talks to now lol.

Althea ~ You have a very good point on them running from one relationship to the next. I will remember that!!!

Honestly you guys I don't feel he will ever come home. I am sure at times he has moments he wishes he didn't screw everything up and he just happened to mention it to the wrong person. Writing the letter helps me give it closure because if I didn't write the letter I would be wondering and questioning and worrying. Now that I have the letter out of the way I can keep going. He knows I know he said it....if he wanted to act on it he would.

I don't need him too. And truthfully I lean more towards not wanting him back now. The main reason I think I would is because he is my history and we have children together. Not because I WANT him back.

[Fender]

If the letter gave you closure or made you feel better about things then it was the right thing for you to do.

I hope you are in a good place today?

[lovingme]

Just got home from Vegas last night! Loved it!!!

My sister talked to h the other day. They have kept in semi contact..maybe talked 3 times in the last year. She didn't even tell me she called him. She called him because she has left her husband but is not dating anyone else. She wanted his advice.

She didn't even tell me ~ H told me they talked for over a half hour. As soon as he left I called her. Here are the basics of what he said to her:

**He does wish he could come home sometimes but worries about what would happen if he decided it wasn't right and he left again. He doesn't want to do that to the boys or me.

**He and ow fight ALOT and about me. Ow is mad that h and I talk and get along so much. He basically told her she had to get over it because I haven't deserved anything he has done to me and I don't deserve for him to be mean to me right now for no reason.

**He said he made a mistake jumping into a relationship with ow. He said this a few times in the conversation.

**He said he doesn't think he could live with the guilt if he came back.

She said she didn't ask him about me and him at all he brought all this up himself to give his perspective since he left me. Regardless I sent him an email afterwards. Mistake or not I feel fine with it. I truly do. I told him that I will not bring it up again and that the ball is in his court. I am fine with whatever. I truly am.

This was all before I went to Vegas. I went to Vegas and had a GREAT time!!!!!!!!

I went to the dentist today for my final appt. I am GORGEOUS ;-) I go on Sept 21st for a photo shoot and they are going to make a commercial and I will be on the local news. Not to sure about all that but whatever. Maybe that will help me lose 10 pounds by then!

[bj]

Hey you
are you one brave woman or what???
you wrote and sent the letter and have confirmation from a very good source (your sister) that he made a mistake and is scared to make another one

how many times did we say that his life is not as good as you always were thinking it was

and what about you - your life is moving along nicely
so why would you want to complicate it with him

one thing you said in your post on pro's
he is part of your history
look at the word you used 'history'
past - gone - no longer

come on LH if the guy wants back and I am not saying anything about what you should do in that regard after all it is YOU that lives with the decision NOT me (or anyone else)

but if he wants back then he gotta make all the moves and put in 150% of the effort

I notice that you don't post often - now that is one sure fire key to you moving on with your life when you begin to post irregularly you don't need this anymore

good on ya girl

do you still have my email
lets keep in touch via email and I will tell you about the guy I met today - he was soooo cute and works in my building

you have moved on so far from that woman I first met that broke a window

and I told you all along that if you played it right you could have the ow on the backfoot all the time

of course she is threatened by you - and telling him to get over it (your previous relationship etc etc) how stupid is she

see it really paid for you to ignore her and be wonderful and great looking when he was around - she sure is one hell of an insecure ow 'awwww poor thing' NOT


I am very proud of you - even of the fact you wrote a letter and gave it to him which let him see he could bring up trying to get back together if he wanted

if he takes you up on the offer you make sure that he proves what he says with actions
he needs to boot ow out - live on his own
be involved in his son's lives and 'date you'

and then you can decide if this is for you or not

and if he doesn't take you up on the open offer

then his loss and you know for sure he is having a $h1t time with ow and then you can go about your life and truly not think of him (them) ever again


you are without a doubt a beautiful, strong female who has most definately 'made it through'


make a happy day LH

bj

[Fender]

Good stuff there Christy. Glad you had a good time in Vegas.

Of course you are gorgeous.

[Fender]

How goes it up North?

[princess_nic]

Christy,

I just saw this! I was wondering why you weren't posting anymore, but I didn't realize you had moved over here.

I would love to see pictures of you once the make-over is totally done!

Interesting how his life is not what he expected. He has not taken the time to better himself, while you have. You have such a bright future ahead of you.

Love,
Nicola

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hi Christy

You sound great and it really is too bad that your H would rather choose to stay with OW where no matter what, you will be involved in their life. Eventually, that R will end.

It's interesting that your H said he doesn't think he can live with the guilt if he came back but whether he comes back or not, the guilt he feels will stay with him. They say some of the dumbest things sometimes.

Now that you've started moving on with your life, he realizes he's made mistakes. He's not the focus of your attention anymore and so he realizes that OW is not giving him what he's looking for either. Wow, WTH did he expect? He was feeling great when he was getting all the attention but now you're not giving it to him and OW is always nagging him about you. Go figure.

Like BJ said, if he comes back, he will have to put 150% in winning you back. You HAVE come such a long way.

You should be proud of the woman you have become. And, I too would love to see pics of your make-over, not that you really needed it.

Hugs,
ISLH

[LisaLost]

(((christy))))

just stopping by to say hello!!!

Lisa