Ya know, Gwyn, you can't have it both ways. Either you are going to try to change things and have a healthy M that you will enjoy and want to preserve, OR, you are going to stuff all your feelings, wishes, and emotions for a few more months and then dump H.
The choice is really yours. Perhaps you have some other alternatives in mind, but I am not sure what they are.
If you are looking for someone to coddle you and tell you there are no risks with one option or the other, it is not going to be me. Both options have different risks and benefits. But, I don't think the second option gets you anywhere on your own intimacy issues that will interfere with you enjoying any R.
You can be kind and loving toward H and reassure him that you want to work on the M without coddling him and going back to stuffing your feelings.
