Jeff, Frank has given you an incredible gift here.
I cannot possibly add anything to it, other than to say this.
God expects us to reconcile. Not necessarily reconcilliation of our marriages, because that is not always possible, but to work toward reconcilliation and healing of the relationship, working toward restoration of friendship, trust, respect for one another.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).
So even if you can't save your marriage at this point, think about these things that Frank has said, with the desire toward reconcilliation with your wife. Not only for the two of you, but most especially for the benefit of your children.
