-> I went MAD. I was soooooo hurt! I could not believe, that after all our struggles he would just throw everything away!
The more I think about it though, the more it feels a good way to pursue. Finally HE decided something. FInally I do not have to ASK him any longer without getting an answer.
We met again yesterday and told my daughter, that he will not be staying with us any longer, coz we needed some space. He though will carry on to take care of her when I have to work nighttimes. They love each other like daughter and dad!
After she went to bed, we talked again quietly. Hugging, caressing, crying.
I told him that I intend to start a therapy to come to terms with my patterns.
But first of all we are going to see a counselor today to help us continue with the business and with defining our tasks as well as our "limits", which we were not able to set in these past months.
Now: it does NOT feel, as if he doesn't love me any longer. The moments, we had together yesterday, they were so full of love and understandig, as they had not been for weeks!
I feel, he was not able to solve his problem IN our relationship. And he knew, he was gonna hurt me more and I was gonna hurt him more in exchange. So he looked for someone to give him the unconditional love i was not able to give him any longer.
We both know and feel HOW important we are and also will be for each other.
I love him. And I do not wanna make any more serious mistakes from now. I would be very happy about some support in helping me to go MY way now. Which will be best for me. And which will be showing him, that I am willing to change for the sake of MYSELF. I would be so happy, if my feelings for him would not decieve me and if we can proof to each other, that our love is real love.
I will stop here for now - impatiently waiting for your ideas and impulses!
