LRT backfire for anyone? More patience needed?

[Dr.mom]

Lissie - hang in there, you get stronger with time. It really does happen. I am no longer crouched in the fetal position on the floor all the time.

I wish I had the strength to detach and Go Dark earlier. Just could not do it. I think it is a very effective tool. Do it.

I could finally do it because I HAD to, not because it fit well into the DB scheme of things. WAH was theoretically slapping me to the ground at every turn. Physically, mentally and emotionally turning me away. I had no choice but to Go Dark. I had the perfect opportunity and I took it. We had spent a 3 day marital retreat together ( dragged him there) , I had said everything I wanted to him at that weekend. Told him how much I'd work, how strong we could be, how our marriage was worth it. It was perfect, it was eloquent. Good "last words" to end on.

He did peek back several times. I think I missed my window of opportunity to come out of the dark. HE called and emailed a few times, mainly about canceling out on our MC sessions each week. I just ignored the calls. Invited me to go to the dog park with him one weekend, but I was too afraid to go. I was afraid he was going to be all "well, since now you and I are on the same page, let's get going and talk about how this dissolution is going to proceed". I just could not handle the "happy happy let's divorce the best of friends" attitude he has. I ran.

MK- I don't expect anything from him. I won't get a call, we don't speak or see each other. Have not for 2 months. No kids, no no reason for any contact at all. I get a check from him on the 15th. That's it. No notes, no email, no messages.

I don't expect a card from him for our anniversary. That would be too weird. That is why I am wondering, do I send one? It just seems so bizarre. Like I am the one to get all mushy, and send something saying "Baby, don't go, let's try for 10 more years". and I WON'T send a card. But he is totally gone, can't even think of me in that way, and WILL send a cheezy card. Just because it is "Polite" and he was raised to be "nice".

I can see sending him a small card on his B-day. I CERTAINLY won't hear from him, I laughed when you talked about him inviting me out. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

He's a "bury your head in the sand" type of person. The more he can ignore me, bury any thoughts of me, the better he feels. HE is real good at the Denial Game.

I rather like going dark. Maybe it means I have truly detached and can move on. This was all going so well, I was starting to feel healthy again, then I looked at the calendar.

Also, like I said before. This is also the "week of the 3 month deadline".

I take it back. I DO expect him to contact me - about going through with the D.
Friends, family and MC have strongly told me DO NOT MAKE CONTACT. DO not initiate contact, else he will think,
"Oh, good, she is coming out of the woodwork. She took her vacation, now she is ready to come to the table. Let's get going with this divorce discussion."

He is not good at making decisions alone. He wants me "on board" and holding his hand with this decision, so he can feel better.

I AM NO LONGER THE "ENABLER". I won't help with this.

Frankly, I am trying to see if I can be out of town that week. Missing in Action.

Maybe I will NOT send anniversary card at all. Maybe will send B-day card LATE.