You can have as many goals as you want but the primary ones are Health, Wealth, and R's. All goals are pretty much subcategories of these. IMExperience, you can only focus on 2 of these primary at a time. Its like the adage-- fast, cheap, and quality. Pick 2. When you see a person start focusing on a new goal, be assured, something is going to be less important.
Hmmm. That all fits. I'm definitely beginning to shift my time and headspace from the relationship to my business/work and my health. You're right - that's probably what she's noticing. And I'm doing it for three reasons:
1) Because I'm a bit tired (bored, maybe?) of thinking about the relationship all the time now. I think I need something new to focus on. 2) I know I need to step up my work efforts, regardless of what happens in the relationship - but especially IF I end up moving out and need to afford a place by myself that's large enough for me to have my kiddos with me at least half of the time. 3) I'm starting to feel like a bit of a chump being the one who tries to initiate almost *everything*. I'm starting to become embarrassed by it.
Having said that, last night in bed, she starts rubbing her feet up my legs and says something about being cold - which may, or may not, have been some kind of code for "please come over here and cuddle me". Who the hell knows these days, eh? Whereas 2 months ago, I'd have been there like a shot, last night I just agreed that "aye, it is pretty chilly", then rolled away and went to sleep.
I'm still trying to work out why that felt (and still does feel) good to me. Anyone?
Now, about the health/bleeding thing. She got the all clear about the big C, and I suggested that maybe the bleeding/heavy periods (and tiredness) were due to a hormonal imbalance triggered by having kids - which I'd read something about. So, I'm thinking... low testosterone, etc. She booked herself a blood test almost immediately, went off to have it done, and for some reason, the doc there assured her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her in that respect and canceled her blood test. Ehm. Right. Anyway, he did refer her to a gynaecologist about the bleeding, so maybe the gynae will probe a little deeper into all this.
No pun intended, obviously. Heh.
So, basically, there's nothing wrong with her. Which is either a good thing, or a bad thing. A good thing because she now has no real excuse. And a bad thing because she could now be thinking something like "hmmm... there's nothing wrong with me - it's fine to just carry on like this. Yay. Etc."
Last week has been good. Kinda. She had some time off work and we had a 3 day break from the kids, which I'd arranged with my folks. One night we went out to a gig and ended up being fairly intimate in a club (and she actually promised me we'd have sex when we got home), but we ended up staying out too late, having a few too many shandies, and just crashed out as soon as we got back. I guess I should have picked her up by her hair and carried her home from the club right there and then, eh?
And then nothing in the morning either, because she was too hungover. Jeez.
But still, it's just the same old, same old. She's definitely affectionate - but she's only affectionate within her own levels of comfort. Which aren't quite the same as my levels of comfort. Only problem is, these are her *new* comfort levels, as before we had kids, we were much more closely matched - and things were good.
I think I need to shake things up again - but I need to be at the point (emotionally/financially/etc) where I'm able to follow through on anything I decide on.
But then, is it *really* fair of me to want her to move outside of her comfort levels? Am I being selfish? I can't force her to desire something she has no desire for.
Thing is, I really, really, really DON'T want to be sitting here having the same conversations with myself in 10 years' time. I'm only 34 for crying out loud.
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
heading down to france.... must be a brit.
Last time I surfed was on my honeymoon. If I never surf again, its O K . That morning, was that perfect.
The reason I asked was to see if you were still getting out and about, and taking care of yourself.
Yep, I'm getting out and about more than in a long time. Trying to bump up my fitness for the autumn/winter swells, getting some bike time in for an upcoming project to cycle down the coast of Uruguay next year (don't ask! heh).
That morning sounds good, though. Don't get many like that round here... My best session? About 10 years ago, maybe... home break... 3-4' glass nearly all day... just me and a mate and a couple of other guys out... stayed in the water for EIGHT (yep, EIGHT) hours straight.
