Donna, This process sound extremely draining. You have made many good decisions to protect yourself. Regarding what to say to the kids, I read a book called What About The Kids.
It is unfair and misleading to lie about an affair. Especially since even sall children have or will hear the rumours and gossip. Obviously, kids will be privy to this. The book states that the Adulterous spouse admit that he has done something he is not proud of and that he feels sorry for what he has done. Do not offer any further details depending on the age. Small kids will not understand and teens will get grossed out.
My D6's Th has also echoed this because she thinks children need to be taught that having a OP is wrong when people are married so that they will not accept that behavior when they are grown ups.
I am not a TH so I do not know. But I know my kids have heard things that are not from me or my H. My H is in deep denial about what they know and it sounds like yours is also.
Maybe tyu should just date before the divorce is final. It seems like that has busted a lot of divorces on the forum.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
