As far as XH's "epiphany"..well, let's just say he realizes the mistakes he made but does not know how to stop making them.. Newsflash
Xh just left with kids to go to a local fair which is held across the street every year. Right now is the first time in THREE YEARS I felt like he was part of the family again.
I fed him dinner.
He remembered where the glasses were which surprised me for some reason.
I purposely didn't put him in his "spot" at the dinner table. It would have freaked me out.
He spent time in the family roon with my D and her friend.
He hung in the basement with my S to hear him play guitar.
He pulled his car all the way in the driveway next to mine.
He brought his dish to the sink.
He complimented me (somewhat) on the new basement decor.(he left when it was getting refinished and now it is done with couches, etc)
He stuck his head in the window when I was doing laundry to scare me. I was doing laundry and the window goes to our front porch and he was watching me through the window while I was doing laundry..
How do I feel??
Uptight- why? He was a neat freak and overly critical of my housekeeping.. I found myself worrying about what he thought about the house, etc. Now, if you came over and walked in it looks great..better than ever but my confidence goes out the window when he is here. I am like a puppy trying to get praise from a master. I HATE that feeling.
Happy-to see the kids happy that he was here seeing their things.
Worried- that the kids will expect this to happen all the time.
Pissed- that he can come in for dinner one minute and text me sh ** a week ago. I am not putting up with that stuff anymore..
Amused- I called him to see if he would take the kids to the fair and he said sure..I said to him I hope u don't have plans and he said I was going to go to OW's to make lasagna...I told him not to cancel his plans(although I didn't know rats could cook!! ) and he said he wanted to see the kids. So, I thought he would be here with nasty OW but he ditched her to take the kids ALONE to the fair.
More amused-I ran out of ziti noodles so I made lasagna instead. So, he blew off the Rat and ate lasagna here instead..
He is still uptight.. He is still uncomfortable in his own skin. He was like that since I met him but it escalated in MLC.
I am not attracted to him anymore. And I am sad that our family is split but it works better this way.
My entire marriage I tried to get his validation. I was STUCK in that cycle and it sucked the confidence out of me.
I like myself better NOT being with him.
He must be wigged out.. I know he is sad. He was very humbled when he left.
It all seemed so familiar since we used to go to the fair every year together with the kids. For 12 years.
Now, I go alone with the kids and he goes alone with the kids. We don't and will not go together anymore.
) and he said he wanted to see the kids. So, I thought he would be here with nasty OW but he ditched her to take the kids ALONE to the fair.
