I think talking to the MIL was a very good idea. You are part of the family and you need to strengthen your family ties. Well done. While it is important not to cry, beg, manipulate, etc. to get back in your wife's good graces, it is equally important to show that you care deeply about the outcome, and want to participate in decisions made regarding your life and your family. Building relationships is a good way to go.
I have a meeting scheduled with the MIL and FIL for tomorrow afternoon. We had family dinner tonight which I was pretty much dreading cause I thought the MIL would be completely on my W's side. I spoke to her briefly and she seemed to want to help make the M work. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Dave, I'm glad your discussion went well. It gives me some hope.
I think talking to the MIL was a very good idea. You are part of the family and you need to strengthen your family ties. Well done. While it is important not to cry, beg, manipulate, etc. to get back in your wife's good graces, it is equally important to show that you care deeply about the outcome, and want to participate in decisions made regarding your life and your family. Building relationships is a good way to go.
I have a meeting scheduled with the MIL and FIL for tomorrow afternoon. We had family dinner tonight which I was pretty much dreading cause I thought the MIL would be completely on my W's side. I spoke to her briefly and she seemed to want to help make the M work. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Dave, I'm glad your discussion went well. It gives me some hope.
Good for you Disillussioned! Having the ILs on your side is definitely a plus. I will try to call the MIL once a week from now on just to connect better with the ILs. Really I'm doing this for me. Just like I want to connect better with my parents from now on. Part of improving myself. The W doesn't know this. I wonder if I should tell the W that I am in contact with MIL. I know MIL won't say anything to W about me calling.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Dave, Yeah, not sure how it is going to go. When I spoke to her briefly yesterday, she seemed very positive about trying to help make things work, but I've spoken also to my SIL who thinks she may not be that interested in seeing my side. Unfortunately, my W did find out I was going to speak to them. She seemed a bit irritated by that as though I am trying to get everyone on my side and make her look like the bad guy. Not sure if this is going to backfire or not.
Sorry about posting four times in a row there. It wasn't updating and I thought the post just hadn't taken.
Ok, I have been sleeping fine the past week or so while the W is gone. Last night I went to sleep just fine. Was calm and everything. For whatever reason I just woke up at 2am with all sorts of anxiety and negative thoughts about the separation. Absolutely cannot get back to sleep. What is wrong with me? Anyone had that problem or know how to deal with that?
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
For whatever reason I just woke up at 2am with all sorts of anxiety and negative thoughts about the separation. Absolutely cannot get back to sleep. What is wrong with me? Anyone had that problem or know how to deal with that?
Just about every night I wake up around 3 or 4AM. Not sure why. I guess it is just the anxiety about the sitch. Just thought you'd like to know you're not the only one.
I have had that happen to me occasionaly as well. Sometimes I will put the tv on to help drown out my overwhelming thoughts and it helps to put me back to sleep.
I try to focus on something happy and specific. Lately about seeing old friends at Labor Day and picturing the good times we'll have. Also, have thought about women I kind of know and how great it would be to be with them. MOre on the dating and R side, not so much a sex fantasy. Those things have helped sometimes.
Me 32 WAW 30 D Bomb 7/9 Separated 7/15 Reiterated bomb 8/12 PA 8/21 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1198643
Ok, today wasn't a bad day. Was actually able to focus at work. Talked to W this morning. I know I'm not suppose to talk about R. Did a little bit anyway due to problems to sleep last night. Some positive info in regards to W. She said she is willing to take her time and evaluate things. She does want to see the changes in me and see if they are permanent. That is some hope. I do hope that the W will want to resume interaction after a little time.... It would be nice to be able to move forward slowly. I think I'll be ok with the separation if eventually there is positive progress.
Went to see a counselor/pastor this afternoon. Just some initial stuff. Said that he's dealt with a lot of divorced people and divorce support groups. Almost all the people that are divorced said they wish they didn't do it. Basically you trade one set of pain for another set. Except that the first set can be healed and the second set will always be there. Especially when kids are involved. Things that you wish the WAS would hear....
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
