Monogomous Nympho Frustrated by Sexy LD Hubby

[loonyqt]

Corri - I am a pretty intelligent and evolved person. I already outlined that I can be pushy in my pursuit, and bitchy when rejected. Isn't that enough as my role in my SSM? What more do you want?

And yes, the drive incompatability was evident after 7 years of togetherness before we got married. I didn't expect him to change, per se; however, the disparity has gotten worse since my hormones have kicked in higher gear and my kiddos are old enough so that I am no longer sleep deprived because of night time kiddie escapades.

And, I'm not sure why we have to play Freud in order for things to move forward. Why can't I ask for specific behavioral recommendations? Why won't that work? Re-read the preface/1st chapter in the SSM. That's the whole point of M.W.D.'s book, isn't it?

That statement is absent of empathy, respect and regard for him... which may be part of the problem... ya think? ;-)

I respect my husband, but as I have had to squelch my desires to stay monogomous, I would say the lack of empathy falls more on him than me... Being a good UU and girl scout leader, I can empathize with the best. But when you hear the same crap "I'm tired", "there's just no way I'm going to be horny tonite" (even after I offer, repeatedly, to apply a little oral love to get the game going), "I really just need to unwind with some TV/working-out, i-phone stuff", or my personal fave - "why are you so horny all the time?", it doesn't speak of working together in mutual empathy, respect and regard. I ask him how he's feeling, I apply my MBA to his work as requested, I take care of the kids (parent participation preschool, volunteering in classroom, girl scout leader) and share stories of their development, I consult to the tune of ~$100/hr and squirrel away a decent amt. of savings, I pay the bills and do the taxes, I am healthy and work out ~4x/wk, I take hundreds of pictures of our family monthly and create beautiful albums, I ask what he'd like to eat and I cook gourmet meals (no hamburger helper in my kitchen), etc. I am a good wife, and I just want to have a good sex-life (where both people are happy, or at least not miserable).

I coule be wrong, but it seems to me that you are a defensive LD person and as such you want to over-analyze that which I presented and lay fingers back in my direction as the faulty party. The fact that you take my request for positive action that I can engage in as being blatantly absent of empathy, respect and regard just blows me away... I am looking for help here because I am sad and lonely in my marriage bed, and I already do so much to keep my slut-like tendencies channeled to better tendencies. Is it so much to ask for tangible advice on how to help stoke the desire fires without being painted as a heartless bitch?