I agree that I should set up some sort of trust fund for the kids, though I don't know what the $ amount will be. I'm going to look into it in the near future. I also agree that this will take some wind out of her sails, though it will likely be minimal.
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You are definitely going to see that girl's true colors in the very near future.
I completely agree, and I think I'm seeing them "blossom" already! She may try to be sweet in an attempt to go back to agreeing to give her the money, but I'm not going to fall for that. If she wanted to be nice to me for the right reasons, she would've been nice to me this whole time, and I'm not going to let a short term behavior sway me.
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And, egads, you paid off her student loan. My lord, if she can't appreciate that, my man . . .
Trust me, Heim -- it's not enough because it's not what she expected and wants. Sad, but true... Maybe someday she'll understand and learn to be appreciative, but I don't see that happening for many, many years.
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I think you're approaching this in a much healthier way, & keeping it more in a business mode, which is where it should prolly be.
Thanks. I'm sure I could be doing a better job of not letting my emotions get involved, but I do understand that this is about me and my kids' future -- not hers. I made the original offer mostly out of guilt, and the hope that she would see my kindness as sincere. However, the latter was never the case (she thought she deserved it, was entitled to it, etc). I've also come to realize that I cannot buy her forgiveness with my offer out of guilt. I would only come to resent both her and my decision in later years, knowing that she didn't deserve it and had no right to it. Whether or not my emotions are involved, not giving her the money is still the "correct" and unfoolish thing to do. It isn't selfish -- it's unfoolish (is that even a word? Heck, I'm the English teacher and still don't know! ).
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Her behavior is questionable, at best. Certainly not wise for someone who wants a favorable deal to show before it actually closes.
Quite true -- she's definitely not thinking at all right now. Actually, don't think she has been for some time...
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That was a pretty expensive party she went to......
That wasn't the root cause, but it certainly did factor in to cementing things in my mind. I had been kicking around the idea with a friend all day long prior to finding out I wasn't invited to the party because of her and OM.
Quick update:
Got a lot of papertrail work done today showing the house was purchased through my inheritance. I'll be talking with my atty again tomorrow in hopes of having all of my ducks in a row for trial on Wednesday.
W did leave a VM on my cell today while it was charging. She wasn't rude sounding, but it did have a hint of concern or smidge of kindness to it. It simply said, "Hey it's me. Can you call me when you get this? Thanks, bye."
Didn't call her back and don't plan to. If she can't leave a reason as to why, I'm gonna leave the ball in her court until she can. I'm not going to be mean, angry, an ass, etc. I'm just ready to "flush the toilet" and wash my hands of her. It's time to play hardball. As long as she is the person she has become (which is much worse than she was when we were together), I want nothing to do with her personally. Nothing.
This release of desire for her feels really good! I mean...REALLY good! Thanks again, W -- your attitude despite all of my help and kindness has shown me the light!
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