edie, I am so sorry you felt rejected from H. I think everyone is right, there are definately more good things than bad going on, so let's try to let focus on those. Its hard, so very hard. And sometimes, like you I am sure, I think "I don't deserve this ____. I deserve a lot more. Why am I doing this?"
We have quite similar situations you and I. When I kicked H out the night he told me of A (he came back 2 days later), he packed a small duffel bag of clothes, probably half of his clothes (he doesn't have a lot). Well, since he came back (we're talking July!), he has yet to remove that bag from his car. I brought the topic up one night we were talking about things, told him I believe it to be his 'parachute', in an emergency pull strings.
He had to bring the bag back in to pack for his week long trip. I'll keep you posted if the bag returns to the car.
And HOW FUNNY, I don't drink out of H's drinks anymore. We used to share drinks all the time.
