Frustrated and More Saddened #3

[stewart10]

WOW... That was not fun at all.

Will post later. Not a great day for me.

One of us will be moving out. Likely going to be me because I have family in the area. She doesn't.

[Heimlich]

Stew,

WOW... That was not fun at all.

I know this was uninentional, but I got a huge laugh out of this line. It could be the catchphrase for what we're all trying to do on this website. Understatement of the centurey, my friend.

Hang in there. Believe me, please, when I tell you that the pain will pass.

Also, it ain't over until it's over. You never know what might happen.

BD

[stewart10]

Heim:

Yeah, wasn't supposed to be funny but you are right. On top of all this, I lost my job today. Things are just getting better and better.

[Heimlich]

Aw, man. I don't know what to say. You said you've got family in the area, I'd think maybe it's time for a visit so that you can hang out and not worry too much about things for a day or two.

BD

[stewart10]

My dad is here with me now. I can't believe this is happening. What a slap in the face. Cannot imagine things getting much work. I have decided to give up the drink for good.

We have an appointment with the counselor on Thursday afternoon. She said that she would go. I really think this guy can help us. She cried and cried and cried today. I could not help it either, I broke down as well. This is going to be the hardest thing to do.

[Heimlich]

Well, if she's willing to work on the M with you, there's nothing to say that an A is the end of your M. I read a lot back in October and it's possible to come through this stronger, you can do it if you want to.

Fingers crossed for you, Stew.

Good job on the drink. I like me some beer, but I treat it like bacon now. It's an occasional treat, not a staple of my diet.

BD

[stewart10]

Thanks Heim.

Well it went down like this. I told her I needed to talk to her. That I needed to get some help. I told her that I have been having a really hard time dealing with things lately. She started crying right about this point. We talked. She told me all the things that I did wrong and I started to cry then. I told her that I was so sorry that I made her feel that way and I really wish I could take it all back. She told me that awhile back she was coming home from work one night and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cuddle with me, and I was not home that night. That was the night I stayed out at my friends' house. I told her that she should have said something instead of bottling up those feelings. That I would have run through a wall to get back to the condo just to hold her. She said that she took it as a sign that things were not going to work out. She told me that she feels like I need to let her go. I told her that I could do that. I did ask her why when she told me back in beginning of July that she wanted to S, why she only left for one day. She said she did not want to hurt me and although I don't think so she still cares about me. I told her that not having her wish me a happy anniversary hurt me pretty bad. She said that she felt like we shouldn't be celebrating because there was nothing happy about that day.

I don't know where things are headed right now. Not really sure what I am going to do. I told her I would move out and go to my parents house. I did ask her before she left for work if she wanted me out tonight and she said that she felt if I didn't do it that I wouldn't ever do it. I asked her if she would go see the Doctor with me. She said that she would. So, that is something to look forward to. She just cried a lot and so did I. I told her that I was trying to be strong for her but that I was having a really hard time. She left for work and I have been loafing around. My father came over and has been trying to help out.

Then I get the email from work. Perfect timing on that one. I had been wanting to make a change anyway, but not in this way.I was okay with leaving tonight before this happened.

I need to figure this out. I really need her support right now with everything that is going on.

[Heimlich]

Tough double-whammy, I'll just mention again -- be strong for you. Not for her. For you.

You can do it. I know, my natural inclination is to lean on my W too. She's not there for me now. Find someone else to lean on. Your dad's trying to help. Good chance to make that R stronger.

No word on the PP bill, though? That's killing me not knowing.

Stew, Let her go. Stop pushing. Start really focusing on you. That's the only way she's coming back. Tell her, in Counseling, how you feel, and let that be it. Do it too much and you'll end up where I am.

BD

[stewart10]

Oh yea. Forgot about that. I asked her why she went there. She said that it was not for her. That she was there with somebody from work. This somebody she would not tell me. But I know it was her female friend. And she probably is cheating on her H and W didn't want to tell me because she knows that she is a bad influence on her. And W paid most likely so W's friends' H would not find out. She told me that I need to know that it wasn't for her.

[limbo]

Stew,

I am sorry that things have taken this turn, its hard to know what to say!
All I can say is look after yourself, think about you right now, thats all you can do, because if you don't take care of yourself you wount be able to do much of anything.