Frustrated and More Saddened #3

[stewart10]

Thanks Heim.

Well it went down like this. I told her I needed to talk to her. That I needed to get some help. I told her that I have been having a really hard time dealing with things lately. She started crying right about this point. We talked. She told me all the things that I did wrong and I started to cry then. I told her that I was so sorry that I made her feel that way and I really wish I could take it all back. She told me that awhile back she was coming home from work one night and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cuddle with me, and I was not home that night. That was the night I stayed out at my friends' house. I told her that she should have said something instead of bottling up those feelings. That I would have run through a wall to get back to the condo just to hold her. She said that she took it as a sign that things were not going to work out. She told me that she feels like I need to let her go. I told her that I could do that. I did ask her why when she told me back in beginning of July that she wanted to S, why she only left for one day. She said she did not want to hurt me and although I don't think so she still cares about me. I told her that not having her wish me a happy anniversary hurt me pretty bad. She said that she felt like we shouldn't be celebrating because there was nothing happy about that day.

I don't know where things are headed right now. Not really sure what I am going to do. I told her I would move out and go to my parents house. I did ask her before she left for work if she wanted me out tonight and she said that she felt if I didn't do it that I wouldn't ever do it. I asked her if she would go see the Doctor with me. She said that she would. So, that is something to look forward to. She just cried a lot and so did I. I told her that I was trying to be strong for her but that I was having a really hard time. She left for work and I have been loafing around. My father came over and has been trying to help out.

Then I get the email from work. Perfect timing on that one. I had been wanting to make a change anyway, but not in this way.I was okay with leaving tonight before this happened.

I need to figure this out. I really need her support right now with everything that is going on.