I am so sorry to hear about your finger. I hope it is healing well and not too painful. He is ashamed of what has happened. That's why he can't look at you. It seems he feels guilt and takes it out on you.
There is life after this. It is a long, hard road to healing but we do get there. It has helped me tremendously to develope my friendships with my female counterparts. I have also made some new friends of people that I probably wouldn't have had the pleasure of getting to know. My 'ex' always said I was 'too friendly'. Now, people tell me I'm distant and aloof. Not good.
What has worked for me or you will be different. But I am learning I have so many interests and so little time.
It will be difficult trying to figure out why your h did this or that. I finally grew tired of it and decided that it did not matter. It was what it was and I was missing out on life giving it much thought.
