Trudging up hill

[ediemarie]

Thank you Faith for the encouragement. I appreciate it!

I think I remember you saying that you have a tendency to mother your H. Maybe he is waiting for you to unpack the boxes for him. Maybe he thinks, she packed them, let her unpack them. Just a thought.

I asked out right about the boxes. I asked if he was ever going to unpack them. H just said when I feel like it. I'm too lazy right now. If he expected me to unpack them he would have said so. He does know that they are annoying the hell out of me so he could be using them as a power play right now. I'm trying not to care about it. Power plays aren't really his thing either. I really think he just doesn't care enough to unpack them.

Journaling -
Well my mood hasn't lifted. I thought it would but it hasn't. I think it may be getting worse. We went for a hike this afternoon after lunch out at one of our favorite bars. After lunch we drove the trail. My hiking boots were in the back seat and when I leaned back to get them, I inadvertenly leaned on H. He literally pushed me off of him. Not in a forceful way, but in a way that I knew he feels it is unacceptable for me to touch him. I honestly don't remember the last time we kissed passionately - it had to be around January 06. I think he feels that if he shows me any affection he's cheating on OW. I can't take it. I'm ready to walk. I thought a lot about it today and it is feasible for me to leave. I'm seriously considering going. I just can't trust him or believe him. I want to but his actions are just inconsistent with his words. I don't know if I'm going to make it until Retro - blech -