I'm probably wrong about this, but I feel like I have to do something to get my W to move forward with our R, besides just improving myself and leaving her alone to decide
Yep, I think you got it right, it's wrong to use someone else to suit your purpose & the universe has a way of ensuring that you pay a price for that, in one way or another.
My H believes I'm "seeing" someone, even though he has no concrete evidence & I've told him I'm not ready to go into another R. That's what creating mystery is all about, there's no need to bring someone else into the picture.
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Probably a bad analogy, but this is the way I feel at this point
Part of what DB skills teach you, is to ignore how you "feel" at the moment. Feeling change by the minute & if you operate that way you're destined for quite a ride.
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Maybe there are more subtle ways to make her realize she will eventually lose me like not always being there when she calls or needs something, and letting her suffer through life without me,
There are plenty of ways & lots of ideas right here on different posts.
I agree with Lin, et al, if your W came back b/c she didn't want someone else to have you it wouldn't be the same as if she did b/c she really wanted what you have to offer anyway.
