Need advice on WAW with OM

[svejk]

Lin,

I understand your point, and I'm probably wrong about this, but I feel like I have to do something to get my W to move forward with our R, besides just improving myself and leaving her alone to decide.

I believe that as long as I'm available and not with someone else, she will take this as a sign that I'm there for her and she can come back anytime she decides, and I don't want to wait forever. In the interim she will continue with the OM and doing whatever she wants. I simply believe she is the kind of person that needs something to shock her into realizing that she will lose me someday, since right now she thinks that day will never come.

I'm sure I'm being short sighted, because this process takes much longer than I seem to have the patience for.

I liken this to when my wife would always tell me to stop certain behaviors that bothered her, and I didn't make any changes. I never thought I'd lose her and she finally had to shock me by separating and moving out, and this definitely made me get the message that she was serious. I made some serious realizations and changes that I never would have made if I hadn't lost her.

I know believe that she thinks she can do whatever she wants and never lose me, and she will continue with the separation as long as she know I'm there. Maybe there are more subtle ways to make her realize she will eventually lose me like not always being there when she calls or needs something, and letting her suffer through life without me, and this is probably the way to go but it's incredibly difficult to do.

Probably a bad analogy, but this is the way I feel at this point.

Thanks,
Svejk