About wondering what God wants as far as standing and the messages you've been waiting for. I've been having a crisis of sorts about this too and so very confused about what God wants for me. Just this a.m. got the thought that I just need to be still some more and hopefully I will get the message.
You said "he should have walked away and not looked back. But instead anytime I started getting healthy he would pull me back." How I wished for that in my sitch instead of my H walking away w/o ever looking back! But I see how a sitch like yours can be difficult in a different way. The one thing I wonder about is, if my H had stayed in my life a little bit, if I might've watched him change into someone I was no longer interested in -- as I think you have -- and maybe then my feelings for him would have cooled. But instead I just have these memories of how he always was, and in the few times I heard from him after his initial post-bomb freaked out time, he seemed the same . . . the same person I always loved.
Anyway I guess we'll be "being still" together. In the meantime, good luck w/ the move and school. If nothing else you are continuing to move forward, and certainly that can't be a bad thing.
Lissie I did see the post about the shoes. Running in heals sounds painful. I bet you could do it though. Btw good job at the wedding. You are one wise woman for not getting involved with someone else when you are not ready.
Imp. Thank you for your vote of confidence. I do feel that my life is moving in a good direction.
BND. Chocolate and wine in New York. How is the spring. It gives me time to save some money. I will have to save for a pair of high heel shoes so Lissie can teach me how to walk in them.
Everhopeful. Thanks for visiting and the well wishes. I am nervous and excited to be returning to school. But it is just another adventure.
Karen. I can see how our mlcers were completely different and maybe we each see the grass on the other side greener. I just think if the m is over than it should have been ripping the bandaid off all at once.KWIM. It makes it hard to see my h and then to wonder how he could be doing what he is doing. It is hard to hear how my children are involved with ow. It is so wrong and immoral in my book but I have to except it. You are so right though about being still. We will both get our answers as we just keep moving forward and living life.
Hi Mermaid! Thanks for coming by. Have you started school yet? Sorry to hear that your MLC has not seemed to be moving in the tunnel. You know i bet it would be a very scary thing to really know what is going thru there minds. Don't know why it seems that they take the OP to somewhere that WE always enjoyed going to, and then it seems that we always hear about it. I guess they are reliving some of the good parts of when it was US! Take care of yourself and enjoy those kids! Huggs and Prayers, Sonni
Yes IKWYM but I have never been good at ripping off Bandaids all at once. I remember early on when I was going to a C and she said something about being worried I was "cutting off the dog's tail an inch at a time" (one of her Southernisms, probably) but understanding that I had to get thru this my own way in my own time. I've said before I thought it was like they say about weight loss -- that if you lose a little at a time, it's more likely to stay off. I'd like to think I'm a slow healer but a good healer. Maybe same w/ you.
As I mentioned elsewhere I found a retreat that seems like it may be helpful and decided to go on it. I haven't ever gone on one before and am a bit apprehensive b/c of that but I think it's something I need now. It's thru the Church and is geared toward S, D and widowed Catholics, most participants will be D women.
If you guys decide on NY please let me know as I may be able to join you, you never know.
I think you are right about being slow but good healers. I often think if people seem to heal to quickly there is something not right. That retreat sounds good through the church.
Yesterday I spent the day a school for an orientation. I still find most students much younger. I think once school starts and I meet some of the grad students it will help. The lady I am car pooling with is around my age so that is a start. But I did find most of the students and staff quite friendly and helpful.I was overwhelmed being there though. So I am anxious to start school so that I can just get into the swing of things.
Well NY is sounding better and better. Maybe we can decide a date and try to have a db get together.
If any of you want to email me you can.
Canadianmermaid@hotmail.com
Well I should get back to cleaning my house and packing. I am getting ready to put my house on the market and also have two uncles coming from Europe this week. My au pair is arriving next week. In about two weeks I am moving so lots to do.
Mermaid, I haven't posted to you in a long time and wanted to say that you are doing great! You are coming across as a very strong, independent and confident lady! No matter what happens, you are a success story!
Your agenda sounds like a busy one in the days to come. I'm sure that the packing and visitors will tie up most of your time, but be sure to take some time for yourself as well. I hope that the little ones are doing well and are "assisting" you w/the packing.
I'm wishing you a very happy journey into the next chapter of your life. You've been an inspiration here and others look to you for sound and wise advice.
Mermaid, take care of yourself and may your new home be filled w/happy memories, i.e., the memories that you and your little girls make along the way.
