MJontheMend - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for offering tangible advice that I can reflect upon. I need to chew on your post mentally for a while.

And, VLM, thanks for the ++++ thoughts. Good luck to you, too.

36 y/o HD in committed monogomous relationship for 15 years (at least on my end, assumed on his as well)
2 children, 6.5 dd & 5 ds