But what is relavent to healing? What details are needed and which are not?
root
It's personal. I would say YOU need to know more for your peace of mind. Have you tried getting your husband to read the infidelity section in Michele's book? My husband did and it really helped him realise why I felt the need to ask questions and the importance that he reply to them as honestly and fully as possible - even if it gave me pain at the time. It did cause a lot of pain but it did help me move on. I am a need to know sort of person. I also need to understand what happened and why so that I can ensure that I put 100% into making it not happen again, (or seeing the signs sooner).
If I felt that my H was holding back on me I would have been even more unable to trust him. Trust is a personal thing and I know it will take me a long time to trust him again as it is. If I knew he was hiding things from me or I sensed a reluctance there to share details when requested I would feel that there was still a great big stumbling block between us.
The mountain I am climbing to put my marriage back together is big enough as it is - I don't want to keep being knocked back by avalanches when I least expect it. Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
