My wife wants out !!

[dadtotwo]

At my W's request, I took a few minutes to visit my D&S today. They had been asking to see me. Also, it was the first day of my W's class toward her new career move. I must admit, it was great to hear the excitement in her voice about things moving forward. I think she has felt that she has not had an identity for some time and now she is finding it.

With what has happened over these last 6 weeks, I have determined that we were totally co-dependent on each other for happiness. She was waiting for me to "fix" the finances and I was waiting for her to show me some affection. A M must be about supporting each other in a loving way for family, career and life itself.

I shared my perspective that we should have been supportive of each other and she said that we just let the finances get out of hand. I must admit that a calm has come over me since I saw and spoke to her before. I don't know if it is because I see her moving on and I am letting go or this could be the start of a positive foundation for us later. One thing is for certain is that the old M could not work with each being so co-dependent.

There is still a tremendous lack of trust and resentment toward me that may or may not heal with time. She may feel that this new feeling of independence and excitement is enough of a reason to want a D to break free from me once and for all.

So I have decided that I will support her career move in any way I can. My hope is that being supportive and loving will give her an appreciation of what we did have when things were good between us. I am hopeful that she will slowly come back to a place where she looks at me as a friend and her biggest supporter.

I am still the one she chose to marry and have a family with. That bond and my loving support will, if nothing else, make her final decision to D a little bit tougher. I have to believe that keeping our family together must take some hard thought instead f rushing for D court.

I want her to see that the OM is no longer necessary since she is starting to stand on her own feet and he was nothing more than a band-aid. The OM is definitely still in the picture and that may still need to run it's course but I will not push her that way by my attitude.

I am the one she should be with and I have no intention of giving her any further reasons to want a D. I still must do what is best for me and become the man I should be for myself.

This is just so new and difficult especially with the kids involved. I want to see them so badly but I do not want to be in her face all the time. She keeps calling me to talk with the kids and stop by if I can to see them.

DBing means making myself a better person so that maybe our spouse will recapture what was lost. I love my W enough to let her go but I will not give up our family. I must persevere.