Whether your get-togethers with male friends made a problem depends on how your H reacted to them. He apparently already knew about it, and perhaps he got a little jealous/insecure about your intentions. Not necessarily a bad thing to give him a little taste of his own medicine.
HOWEVER, it is a slippery slope. Just as you never imagined your H would hurt you the way he has, you cannot know for sure the intentions of these male friends. They may be "friends of the marriage" and still be providing support in the hope of being there to pick you up when H lets you down. For your own sake as well as the sake of the M, don't do this again while you still have hope.
As for H having his needs met, you may be right, but I think it is clearly more than just sexual needs. Everything that happened this weekend points to the conclusion that he is beginning to realize how much he needs you in his life and how big a loss it would be to lose you.
My only real advise at this point is for you not to pursue him. Allow him to court you, but don't start calling or emailing or texting him all the time.
