why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Trixi]

He agreed that they weren't "dates". He wasn't hurt; well, I should say that he isn't the jealous type when it comes to me. He knows I love him and am true to him. I guess I could *ask* him if sees a gray area and thinks that they are dates. He knows both these guys. I'm not hiding anything.
But I can see what you are saying.

It is premature for me to try to put any restrictions on 'platonic' dates. He still is "confused" about us. He was VERY careful to not offer too much hope. He says that he has no idea where he will be in 3 months, 6 months, whatever. That he can't offer me any guarantees.

Bringing me back to why I am currently suffering anxiety waiting for the other shoe to fall.

One thing that I just remembered about this weekend that does not bode well is that he would be "excited" and lose it, and get it back, lose it, get it. That's bad. When I am that way, I call it being in "my head" because I am thinking too much. When I said "whassup with this?" (ie, the losing it), he said that he was too much in "his head" & he's been having a difficult time maintaining.(since he's moved out.) I said it's not cheating to do it with your wife. He was getting frustrated which of course, creates a bit of performance anxiety, too.
Crap.