OK so yesterday I was talking to my SIL (actually ex but she still loves me ) at lunch (Taco Johns) I was telling her about a dream I had well over a year ago.
It seems H had been stepping out on me and I was getting suspicious. In the dream we had this brand new gym in town, top of the line everything, to include a juice bar.
Well one day I couldn't take it and I showed up there and busted him at the juice bar with this chick.
About 6 months later, our town opened a gym similar to the dream, and his EA is a member there. She'd been asking him for the past year to work out with her, but as he put it basically he was a more moral person than I was because he never took her up on it.
It's just weird how things are brought to the forefront of your mind.....and you're like WHOA.
So the question that was asked is does God speak to us through our dreams? What do you think and isn't that weird about the dream?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
some lyrics to a song I'm kind of liking right now...bold is what I ... I don't know if it's wish, expect, or would someday like to hear from XH...
Artist: Akon Album: Unknown Title: Sorry, Blame It On Me
As life goes on I知 starting to learn more and more about responsibility I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don稚 want to take responsibility for
I知 sorry for the times I left you home I was on the road and you were alone I知 sorry for the times that I had to go I知 sorry for the fact that I did not know That you were sitting home just wishing we Could go back to when it was just you and me I知 sorry for the times I would neglect I知 sorry for the times I disrespect
I知 sorry for the wrong things that I致e done I知 sorry I知 not always there for my son I知 sorry for the fact that I am not aware That you can稚 sleep at night when I am not there Because I am in the streets like everyday Sorry for the things that I did not say Like how you are the best thing in my world And how I am so proud to call you my girl
[Bridge] I understand that there are some problems And I am not too blind to know All the pain you kept inside you Even though you might not show If I can apologize for being wrong Then it痴 just a shame on me I値l be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
[Chorus] You can put the blame on me [4x] Said you can put the blame on me [3x] You can put the blame on me
Sorry for the things that he put you through And all the times you didn稚 know what to do Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad And you would rather be home with all your kids As one big family with love and bliss And even though Pops treated us like kings
He got a second wife and you didn稚 agree He got up and left you there all alone I知 sorry that you had to do it on your own I知 sorry that I went and added to your grief I知 sorry that your son was once a thief I知 sorry that I grew up way too fast I wish I would致e listened and not be so bad I知 sorry your life turned out this way I知 sorry the FEDS came and took me away
[Bridge]
I知 sorry that it took so long to see They were dead wrong trying to put it on me I知 sorry that it took so long to speak But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani I知 sorry for the hand that she was dealt For the embarrassment that she felt Just a little young girl trying to have fun Her daddy should never let her out that young I知 sorry for Club Zen getting shut down I hope they manage better next time around How was I to know she was underage Enter 21 you know the club they say Why doesn稚 anybody wanna take blame For rising back out disgracing my name I知 just a singer trying to entertain Because I love my fans I値l take that blame Even though the blame痴 on you [3x] I値l take that blame from you
And you can put that blame on me [2x] You can put that blame on me And you can put that blame on me
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I say hey to him and he gets all hateful to me and then tells my friends who I was with and why our marriage failed.
Oh I know this too well. Listen, there is only one reason why he did this, plain and simple, he is jealous
YOU are NOT suppose to be out enjoying yourself, YOU are suppose to be at home curled up in a ball and miserable because he left you. Your life should have ended.
How dare you be out having a good time. You are suppose to be pining over him until you die...Geez what's wrong with you (Just in case, this is scarcasim).
Girl, you handled it well.
As for dreams and God speaking to you through them, well it is possible, but I have a tendancy not to look at dreams too closely.
Recently, my H has a new thing to complain about. The fact that I seem to be moving forward with my life. To him, he intreprets that as our marriage was nevr important to me and neither was he. That I show no remorse for my actions and that I don't care that the M is over.
so I simply asked him, what should I be doing? Answer: see below
Apparenlty he is under the same fog your H is. I should be at home sad and depressed for the rest of my life because my M ended.
Oh and apparently my H has been with 6 women since we separated (that would be since May/07). I just said, good for you, I am glad you are out dating and enjoying your life. Did not get angry or hold anything back, because to be honest, it did not phase me in the least.
Is it true? who knows. Do I care..hmmmm..not really.
For the first time in almost 2 years, I am really looking at our entire marriage. Honestly, I don't think I want it back anymore.
I am at peace with that choice, and if I end up alone, I know I will be ok
You will be ok KS. I see it in your posts, they have changed dramatically over the past 6 months, you are getting stronger, and once you get to the point where thinking of this does not make you angry, you will be amazed how your perception of the future changes.
Yeah Sigh you know I've really been doing a lot of thinking & talking to my friends (pray for them and have pity on them ) but there were a lot of things that I didn't have in our marriage.
He was selfish most of the time we were together. We did things HE wanted to do. I spent less and less time with my family. And yet we didn't spend time together as a family. Family is not as important to him as it is to me. I want that.
Now, all I really want is for him to buck up and be a good father. He has the chance to keep a strong connection (or create one whichever the case may be )
I don't know what the future holds for me/us. I think he's a pretty low human being for flaunting HER in front of me like that. I think even less of him for picking HER since he agreed in the "plan" that contact with her would be cut off. I think less of him as a person for not keeping his word. And even less of him as a father for his actions this past weekend.
So......I see what you're saying Sigh.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I was thinking.....these guys I meet. If I'm not into them, I thought about giving them X's cell # (it's two off from mine LOL) and then have them leave a message for me on his #......
but that'd be bad of me - right?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
If I am "into" them.....I'm doing nothing. This one I met Friday keeps pushing me for a dinner date and the thought of it kind of makes me queasy. He's nice enough, etc. but I already know I'm not ready for all that. I need to be on my own.
oh and GROOVY!!!!!!!
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
LOL
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