He tried to tell me that I had been out on "dates" because he knew I had gone out a couple times with a couple guy friends. I said "It's about intent. I would NEVER call going out with R or D a date.
no, it's NOT just about intent. and it doesnt matter what you decide to call it. Because you cant read his mind, and he cant read yours, and that wont ever change. You were in the wrong on those. You disrespected and hurt your husband by doing that. I think that if you ever want your husband to not go on "platonic dates", you should apologise to him for yours.
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Both the guys I have hung out with, though, are "friends to the marriage", know both of us and want us to reconcile. It's very different.
you still shouldnt do it. uncountable people have ended up in affairs, because they were "two friends, trying to help each other with troubles in their marriage". "intent"= good. "result" = the worst.
business lunches, are semi-different. but you werent out on business. Treat your husband like you wish he would treat you (or better). Apologise for those dates, and decide/inform him that you wont be doing them any more. That is to say, no more one-on-one's with those men. That is a "date". Groups only from now on, is a better way to respect your marriage. Treat him with at least as much respect, as you wish he would show to you.
Last edited by Dom R; 08/27/0705:29 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
