I'm back from holiday (and now depressed)

[Trixi]

Hey Max!
Welcome back- are you going to post any pics for us to live vicariously thru?

Coming back home has made me feel really down though. Once again it's just me and the house and I hate it. It's too quiet and I really miss social interaction.

You have that new job coming up, right? That will add some social interaction.
For me, I am going to go to some classes for adults. Where I live, they have a "university" that has short (1 time to 4 times) classes that are for adults and geared towards personal development. For instance, I want to take Salsa lessons, How to play Pool, a cooking class geared towards autumn food, how to get over stage fright, silver smithing, quit procrastination, recovering from loss and a few others. I think this is going to really open up my exposure to potential new friends.

I miss my wife hugely (will see her tomorrow). I have no idea what relationship I have with her any more. Not a clue. This makes me feel very confused. We hardly ever contact each other and part of me likes it that way - because contact feels too painful.

I certainly can relate to that.

Why is she so social and I feel like a loner? How do I gauge how she views me?

Just because someone appears social, doesn't mean that in their hearts they are feeling fulfilled. (the old "Feeling alone in a room full of people" thing.) You just did a two week trip with a bunch of strangers. You post here and reach out. I think these are good ways to "stretch your wings" and test out how to get "closer" to people in more non-threatening ways. (ie, instead of taking the "risk" of reaching out to people in your immediate circle.)

You will hopefully know how she guages you once you see her. Obviously, post what happens.