Sandi, I would like to echo Aud in the sense that you are in the slow churning current of the boards in "Piecing". I had read your thread and didnt respond because I really had very little of worth to give. Sometimes I forget that something is better than nothing just so someone understands that there is someone out there who does care....I do care and "I" do relate with much of you wrote.
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You are right! I stopped excersing, dieting, the lotions & potions stopped....and you know the rest. Why is that? imLin said that it was b/c I did not feel that I had to "win" anyone......I had my H. I think a lot of that is true. But, I wish I was not that way. I wish I could feel toward my H the same as I felt toward the OM when I was trying to look so hot for him. BTW...I loved to hear OM tell me how "hot" I looked and I worked my ....you know what off.....to hear him say that. My H is good to compliment me...but for some reason, it just doesn't seem the same. God, that makes me sound awful!!!
That doesnt make you sound awful at all...it makes you sound truthful...a lot of this rings true with me. My W most likely shares these same feeling that you do. When she was having her "EA/PA-she will never uncover the truth" she was losing weight, looking "hot" and cared deeply about her appearance. Now she is blaming "M" on her weight gain because we all know that marriage makes a person fat
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Well, I'm in "piecing" and I need a lot of encouragement from you all. Please don't shut me out since I'm from the other side of the fence. I have sent several posts out that never got any response and I don't know if I was too harsh sounding or if it is b/c I was almost a WAW and people resent me or just don't talk to me b/c it reminds them of their pain.
I sure hope no one is shutting you out and honestly I have roamed these boards for a while and have never seen such a thing. Especially me, for I had a "EA" myself when I doubted that my W was serious of trying again so I understand a lot of what you are saying. and as far as reminding anyone of the pain, that is why these boards exist...is too swim frelly through the pain without the harshness of the outside world..I think in your sitch your dynamic must be especially difficult when you are seen by the outside world (being a christian school teacher) as not having these feelings or shouldn't. Odd that society places people in boxes and tags them for a later date without at least looking whats inside.
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Oh well, like I said.....punch me out if you feel like it. I just needed to talk tonight. If you do have any advice for me...I would appreciate it.
I am not one to throw 2 x 4's or punch anyone out...I am at a point in my morning where my coffee is not nearly as strong as it should be so most likely none of this makes any sense and certainly no words of advice are flowing....except one... "be patient in all reagrds of your life and on the boards" Responses will happen and I for one will certainly throw something down here from time to time until I become a nuisance. Aud is right(and usually is) GAL is the way to clarity!!! I just wish I would soak that message up as well. This is a perfect time for experimentation....YOU have nothing to lose I am going to rummage up a stronger cup of coffee and maybe jot something down that is of more worth but anyway....WELCOME!!!! YOU are needed and cared about in this swirlling thread...peace
