Been a long time again… and well I think I need some guidance now more then anything.
I stopped posting on these boards a while back because I felt it was holding me back rather then helping me move forward. I guess seeing everyone in the same state as me kind of depressed me a bit and I needed to forget about my failed marriage and work on myself and move on.
I’ve done just that and well things took a very sharp turn a week back.
Just a quick recap of the situation in point form.
W dropped the bomb this past Dec 27th ILYBNILWY
W was seeing OM “Helping him get back on his feet” BS !!
W left Feb 16th and the lies and deception began along with some counselling for me.
For five long hard months I took lie after lie after lie about her and the OM living with each other. While friends kept me updated on events (did not probe, was just told) Not cool to know what I did.
GAL to the extreme and started to move on with my life. Was still and are not 100% sure If I want to work on this.
May is when I made my mistake and I now hang my head in shame and admit I got involved with a OW for a few weeks. It was a PA and EA for me.. It was a dark time for me and I needed to feel desired and have some affection. I saw her for who she was and took myself from the situation… it is unfortunate it happens to be a close friends roommate that lives across the street for me…
So after this brief stint I just focused on me and the house.. little to no contact with W, maybe once a week or two she would call and I had no desire to speak to her. I was polite, but not loving. Kept the conversations short.
Went to a good friends wedding July 7th (my bday) and met a really nice girl and we hit it off well chatting. Got her number and we talked a few days after. We both agreed we where not looking for a R, but friends. I have spent plenty of time with her and even drive her to work, since she lives a block away from me and just 3min from my office. She knows of the situation and has major beefs with my W.
July is when I started to see the W start to come around. She would not talk much about her situation, but I could tell something was not right.
Mid July she called me and left a message for me to call her back. Called on my lunch and this is when stuff started to go down. She told me it is not working with her and OM and that he is verbally abusive and not holding his weight paying bills and stuff. She asked If she could leave for a weekend with me in August. I said at the time I maybe able to, but we will see.
I was not holding my hopes on the weekend away and did not think it would happen.
Sunday Aug 5th, wife called me and started to ball her eyes out and apologies for all that has happened and said she thought she would be happier after she left me. She told me that the OM had been doing crack (again) and did it in front of her to prove a point. He locked her out in the balcony in apartment. She had to bust through the glass and got a nasty cut on her arm (4 staples) originally she lied about it to me and said she fell.
Fast forward a little to Aug 17th. We ended up going to her moms cottage and had some 1 on 1 time talking about a whole lot of stuff from the past six months. We did some of the fun things we used to and it sorta felt like old times. She admitted to the whole EA and PA with OM and I admitted mine with OW. She wants to move back in… still I did not believe her one bit. How could I ?
Well last night is when it all started to go down. I ended helping her move out from her apartment ( she asked) along with some friends.
Managed to get 95% of her stuff moved… one of the hardest things I have done in a while. See all the stuff she bought with him and where apart of there R.
We unloaded it all at my house in the living room… She spent the night with her GF to get a ride back to pick up her car and retrieve her dog being held hostage by OM. I still don’t believe this is coming to an end with her and OM and wont till she has no contact with him. She claims she does not and will not speak to him after she gets the dog back. This is something I asked of her if she moved back.
Well I think that sums most of it up… I guess I can be considered piecing now.. I feel worried and know I err we have a long road ahead of us.
sorry for my poor grammer and spelling with aM and the long post.
W: 28 Me: 27 No kids Bomb: 12/27/06 ILUBNILWU Sep: 2/16/07 Came home: 08/30/07
