Terrible. I think that I am finally broken. I am not going to be doing any DBing today but I have asked her to come see someone with me (IC). I really have started to spin out of control. I started drinking again two weeks ago, and though I didn't have a problem before, I think I may now. I need to straighten this out. She is telling me that I need to get control of myself. I cannot fathom what is going on right now. The only thing I know is I am not happy at all.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
You're not broken, just sad and confused and hurt by your W. First, stop drinking. You know that. Figure out whatever your trigger is for opening up a drink -- watching TV, reading, whatever, and before you pop a top or cork, take a break -- a walk, a shower, just do something different.
I know you love your W, but you have got to let her go. And you have got to start worrying about yourself first.
Are you going to confront her at IC about the PP bill?
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
I really feel like I am broken. I have really given this my all. I do have to let her go. I am not going to make it long living like this. I cannot do this anymore.
Quote:
Are you going to confront her at IC about the PP bill
I suppose I should. I need to get some questions answered.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
Well, today we are going to probably have a really long talk about us. I am going to try and validate but I need to get some things out in the open. Going to be a very difficult day.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
You aren't broken, believe me! You have strength in you that you don't even know about! And it will come out. I know its so hard, when you have been with someone so long, and they do this kind of stuff to you. But you know what, they are hurting worse then we can know, and you have to remember that. It really does help to think of them in terms of being aliens, that they just don't have control of themselves right now. This is why it is so important to detach, so they don't drag you down with them. Stop drinking, thats the first step, and if you aren't then get some c, it will help.
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Thanks Limbo. I just feel lost right now. I made a call to the IC I saw but doubt I will be able to get in today to see him. I really do want this to work out. She means the world to me. I have to start detaching. I don't know if I am able to do that with her around. Maybe I will talk to her about a separation. I just don't understand. She tells me that she has nothing left to give. That is really all there is to it.
I am really down today, sorry if I am bringing anyone else down too.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
(((HUGS))) I can empathise with the feeling broken. I too feel like that often. For me it is a feeling that is generated because I feel out of control. I feel anxious as well. It is a horrible feeling.
It is *so* important to detach. I have had to do that big time even going as far as to ban my H from my home and refuse totalk with him (other than e-mail about our son)
nasty as this sounds I had to do this to protect my own mental health and get myself strong again.
Take care NC
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
Oddly enough...when I was still suffering through the difficult times of my M I was the one drinking. A bottle of wine daily. It took my IC and my primary care DR to point out that I was heading towards a real problem in addition to being on the verge of a breakdown. Its very easy to fall into when you are in so much pain. At least your aware that you have been indulging too much. Thats the first step in avoiding the problem. Keep your chin up. Have the conversation today. Try and do your best to keep your emotions in check (i now easier said than done). Sounds like this is your chance to get all of your concerns out on the table and make some choices about how to proceed. You cannot keep feeling like you are in limbo or that you are being a doormat. Sounds like its time to set some boundaries about what you will and will not accept. Be prepared for separation discussion and try to keep a level detached head...and don't forget your best tool, validation.
(((Hugs))) good luck today.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Stew, the sooner you detatch, the better off you'll be.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
