Um....NO, don't send that letter...as much as she might admire you when your strong this is NOT how to show it!
I would run for the hills if my H would sent something like this to me and I love him dearly...no doubt...
Several things here...you are not giving her space to work things out herself...you are TELLING her what to do...you are also telling her that you won't accept anything else...this will make her feel trapped for sure...
And the biggest no no in all of this...renewing the vows...this doesn't make everything alright...and then looking for a baby girl to adopt!...you are pushing all the emotional triggers there are for a woman...and this will blow up in your face...having a baby is very stressful...I was told by a La Maze instructor that having a baby will strengthen a strong marriage and break a weak one...
You state you want a relationship built on trust and *respect*...well I am not seeing alot of respect for HER feelings in this...it is all about you and controling her...
DON'T SEND IT...YOU NEED TIME TO WORK ON YOU....TIME IS YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOW...IF SHE IS TELLING OTHERS THAT SHE STILL LOVES YOU BUT IS AFRAID OF HOW THINGS WERE IN THE PAST...YOU NEED *TIME* TO *SHOW* HER THAT YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES THAT SHE CAN FEEL SAFE WITH....
