Trudging up hill

[ediemarie]

So the night got better. H had no idea anything was bothering me, so that was good. I spent the evening reading the september vogue - not my normal read but the September issue is fun.

I keep looking for signs. Signs that he's going to leave, and signs that he's here to stay. When he left at the beginning of August I packed all of his clothes up. They are still packed in boxes and are stacked in our bedroom. Everyday I get up and see the boxes that are full of his clothes. He said he is too lazy to unpack - I say (but not to him) he hasn't decided to stay. And of course, the wedding band. He hasn't worn it since January 06, I don't know what makes me think he would want to start wearing it now. I know it's crazy to fixate on this stuff, I really try not to. I just can't help but feel like he's not really in this.

Retrouvaille can't come quick enough - 3 weeks until we go!