Yes. I know what you mean. Have you read the book After the Affair, by Janis Spring? My husband and I used that book to discuss the problem until we went to Retrouvaille. We didn't go through the whole book. But the one thing I really latched onto was that the cheating spouse should make a financial commitment when he/she returns to the marriage. Of course, that didn't play too well with my husband, Mr. Cheapskate. So I thought I would never get it.
First we did Retrouvaille, and a few weeks after we went to an outdoor fair and he bought me $20. earrings. I acted happy with them. Then we went to New Orleans and he bought a beautiful inlaid marble table for the living room for $2,000. Gasp! So I thought that was it. Even though I knew if we broke up he could take the table with him. But the point was that it matches the decor of this house.
Then, one day we went window shopping downtown and he bought me a sapphire and diamond necklace. Then I was satisfied. Janis was right. I really wanted the new piece of jewelry that showed me commitment. Until I got that I kept saying things like, "Can you fix a broken husband?" But you can. Just hold your breath. It will get better at Retrouvaille.
