Thanks for hopping on and letting us see your presence. I to hope it is good news and I can get my girls 50% of the time. We will have to wait and see.
You are right I am paying my lawyer good money for a reason and am going to let her handle this divorce from here on out. Again, you are so right that we are conditioned to think that our S's will have our best interests and not try to screw us over. I guess that comes with being with someone for so long. I think one of the problems that my W is having right now with me is the fact that I am not always the ultra-nice push over guy that always tried to make her happy no matter the cost. Now I stand my ground and try to be civil with her and that seems to set her off.
Forexample, on Saturday I had to go into work for a few hours. I knew in the morning there might be sometime that my W and I would have to share some space so I tried to keep that to a minimum. I got my girls up in the morning(so she could sleep in), bought donuts, and then went for a run. At this point the only interaction that I had with my W was talking about the donuts(I even made sure that I bought her favorite). After I showered up, I got ready and it basically was time for me to head into work. Nope, my W had some other ideas. Before I left she asked me again about refinancing our house. I answered her and so far I was keeping her wrath away. Then she asked me about my thoughts about the proposal that her L sent to mine. I told her that it is now between our L's and its best to leave the frustration with them. Well she kept asking what my thoughts were about the proposal. I gave in and told her to come into the garage and I would go through the document with her. There is over 20 points that this proposal makes and I wasn't even able to get past point 3 before she got angry. I think her logic behind her anger is why don't I just sign the darn form to get this all over with. I won't go into the reason why I just won't sign her document, besides saying that the settlement is all about her. While my W is spewing at me I got into my car to leave, I then had it. I told her this D is her choosing and is not what I wanted for us or our children that burden is on you. I then left and as I pulled away my W picked up D2 and flipped me the bird.
An hour or so later she called and apologized for her getting angry and even acknowledged that I tried to keep it from escalating to the point that it did.
Was I being nice and cave in thinking that I could have a rational conversation with her about what state laws are and how they differ from what her L is proposing, maybe. But I did not and will not let her walk on me and my little girls. We deserve the best possible outcome for all of us(this actually includes my W).
Thanks for the link. I have not been on that website, it could be helpful. I have ready a couple of nice guy books and have found that some of the information relates to me and some does not. I guess this is all part of the process of healing.
I agree 100% with you about my friend and his sitch. I have been able to see how far I have come along by helping him deal with his emotions, fears, and disappointments. To be honest my sitch has allowed me to relate to people in ways that I never could before this occured. For that I am thankful. I do not know if I would be the same man today without enduring what I have todate.
