We rented a movie today. Why does almost every movie out there have an affair theme? Why? Even when I "screen" movies to make sure there aren't references to affairs, one will pop up. always. our society is saturated with romancing affairs. i guess the day to day drudgery of real life doesn't sell movie tickets, but why should affairs? i think the saturation is ruining our society. i think it allows people to believe that they are ok and that falling in love just happens - like tripping - woops, i didn't mean to fall in love, it just happened.
Nothing new is happening really. I've lost that loving that feeling, to say the least. i don't want to be married today. I want to fall in love. I don't want it to be with someone that has cheated on me. I don't want to be loved by my betrayer. I don't want to love someone that is capable of lying. I don't want to live in the same house with someone that has lied to my face repeatedly. I don't want to laugh with him, i don't want to share secrets with him, i don't want to eat with him, i don't even want to look at him. I want him to love me and make all the crap he did go away. I want him to erase the past. I want him to fix us. I don't want to work at it anymore. I want him to do it. I want diamonds, and roses and a whole new wardrobe. I want a new car. I want new dishes. and i want him to pay for all the crap he did. I want him to feel remorseful and show it. I want to be told what a mistake it was over and over and over again.
...this is me stomping out of the room and slamming my bedroom door...
temper tantrum over.
It just had to be said.
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
