"W is shopping because she mommies you. It is a long-standing habit. Right now, it makes her feel especially good to mommy her little boy to make him feel all better as much as possible even though she can't avoid hurting him in other ways with grown up stuff. Unfortunately for the little boy, little boys aren't very interesting romantic partners for mommies."
I really do not see a downside to taking a strong stance on your independence. Require it from yourself. Do not permit her to interfere. Quit letting W wipe your nose.
"W, I really appreciate all your kindnesses. Right now I need to move to an independent life, so I am going to have to put a pretty strict boundary when it comes to my space. My space is my business, including how I take care of myself in my space. I welcome and accept your gifts as housewarming gifts from a friend. But beyond this I have to politely ask you to respect my home as my home. The day-to-day details of maintaining that home really are my domain. I hope you understand."
Be independent. Be strong. Be direct. Be confidant. Be kind. (That is, if you want to be an attractive romantic partner. This goes equally for women BTW.)
